Throwback Def Poetry Jam: Dana Gilmore

 Wife Woman Friend: Poem by Dana Gilmore

i’m tired of peeking out my window and seeing shadows of you
i can’t roll out with my girls without checking my rearview
your callin’, breathin’ all hard on my phone like i can’t hear you
and every time i hit the club you just happen to be there too
all i wanted was to see us through
but when i needed you 
i had to compete with clubs, drugs, the streets and PS2
out chasin’ women with your weak ass crew
i guess when you’re in Rome you do what the Romans do 
but, they go home alone – just like you
wishing they would’ve held on – just like you
probably callin, playin on phones – just like you
i’m so through dealing with niggas – just like you
and i’ve had a few niggas – just like you
had the ballin type, who call all night and keep claimin he’s coming through
had the CEO, who would bring me dough cause he always had something to prove
had the so-called god-man, that think he can do everything God can 
so he closer to God than the church man,
had the meet me at the poetry spot down to earth man
had the man from the club who was only good for a fuck
had the street man who kept claiming he was down on his luck 
had the playa with no goals, no heart, just game
had the 24 in the studio on his way to fame
had the control freak who thought he could keep me on a chain
had a man that lied so much i don’t even know his real name
but fuck it cuz at the end of the night they all made me feel the same
i had a million things to lose and not a damn thing to gain 
i guess DMX said it best, you gotta let a dog roam
but many nights you never found your way home
you left me to fight this war alone
i sacrificed my own blood and sweat
yet, you wanna collect benefits like you was the Vet
poppin off at the mouth sayin shit Ja-Rule would’ve said
like “love is pain” and “pain is love”
i tell you i need you and i watch your shoulders shrug
i tell you i’m leavin and you call my bluff 
i tell you many men want me 
you say ‘they can have you then’
so when you beg me to come back i tell you ‘i gotta man’
not just a lover, but a friend
the closest person to me, so i call him my next of kin
and i know you think you own this
but guess what, he put it in 
and represented for all men
even those that act like boys but we still call men
and he goes all out for me so when he needs me i’m all in 
cause we went from walkin to runnin in spaces we used to crawl in
you think you gone fall in feedin me bullshit sprinkled with game on it 
but, when he hit it he wrote his name on it
i was committed when he put his brain on it 
he and i will parade the streets and i’ll be damned if you rain on it
you say it ain’t over yet
i’m not concerned with your threats
you can come here filled with hot air
but you’ll leave tryin to catch your breath
i told you I was close to empty
but you wouldn’t believe til there was nothing left
to busy pokin out your chest
what kind of man chooses the streets over hot meals and good sex
look, i know you have regrets
i’m not going to throw it in your face – hell, i wish you the best
but him for you is like more for less
i just can’t do it
you had your chance but you blew it
deep inside i think you knew it was killing me
but, silly me
i couldn’t see the forest for the trees and 
i didn’t know i was cut so deep until i began to bleed
i guess they left out all the snakes in the story of birds and bees
so you can cry me a river
nigga, cry me a sea
but, that’s the last time i’ll love a nigga
that, ain’t got love for me.

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