What does love mean to you? Has your definition of love changed over time (from being a young girl to a woman) if so, how?

As a young girl, I thought love was only in fairy tales. I thought about love and would think “when I become a woman, I’ll know more about it” or “when I get married and have kids, that’s when I’ll have love.”

I always thought love came about when you got a significant other or when adults decided it was time. I equated sex, dating, children, marriage, and everything else physical to be love. I was wrong (of course).

God is love.

That’s one thing I was confident in. Love is everything you can’t see but know is there and it’s what keeps you alive. When genuine, you could feel love’s presence, just like the air we breathe you can’t see it but if it wasn’t present you couldn’t survive; that was my definition of love. A key to survival.

I grew up very religious, knowing God loved me, my parents loved me, and that’s it. My perception was that love came naturally from them because it was supposed to.

As I started dating (halfway serious dating (like high school dating)), I mixed lust and love up all the time. I had my teachers tell me “you don’t really love that boy.” They’d say “in a couple of years, you won’t even remember his face,” reminding me “it’s a whole world out there, you’re about to go to college, and you won’t even remember what you’re crying about right.”

They were absolutely right.

Almost ten years later, I’m older than I’ve ever been and I realize (and sort of accepted) the definition of love will be continuously changing for me.

Each year, love means something different.

Now, I feel like I generalize love. I currently am taking everything that makes it special and making it common. I would never tell anyone I love them because it was so sacred now I’m saying those words out my mouth for next to nothing.

It’s nothing for me to say “I love chocolate” or “I love your hair” and “I love that movie” “Oh my God I love Trey Songz.” Honestly, I’ve connected love to materialistic things, and I recognize that’s a problem. I’ve become a reckless lover. It’s nothing for me to hang the phone up with my friends and go “ok bye, love you.” It’s become a common thing, a greeting of sorts.

In the future, I want love to go back to being a sacred feeling, a cherished feeling between lovers and family. I need the close knit-ness of it. Something I don’t have to guess about because when it’s present, I’ll know.


Some of my favorite songs are below (I could go all day with “Love” titled songs):