Posts tagged “relationships

5115 Wissahickon Ave.

Times like this my mom would say the devil is busy..

I think he has too much time on his hands

He’s taking a break while I’m filling my head

with silly things that aren’t true

In the back of my mind and in the front of my mind is you

You, telling me, reminding me of our sacred ritual

I’m head over heels, heels over heads

always indulging in a mess, stuck, never moving all the way through

Loving the lust, the lies

Comforting hellos, harsh goodbyes,

you know I love me… some you

But you, and I, this back and forth, aint nothing new

In time itll all be gone, the ending of a song, but just wait for part 2

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5115 Wissahickon Avenue

“Does Mr. Eric spend the night with your mom often? Is he living in the house with you?”

At the time I didn’t know that my mom’s best friend was questioning me only to stab her in the back. After all, I was only seven…who uses a child as a vehicle for evil and gossip?

When my mom went to work the next morning, her best friend, Mrs. Miami, handed her a copy of an email she drafted to the Philadelphia school district asking for her immediate removal as Principal from Bethune elementary.

The email contained personal information (information she squeezed from a 7 year old) about my mom’s relationship with an accused rapist.

I was only a child so of course I didn’t know what was going on.

I carried the burden of my mom losing her job which left us homeless for 4 years.

I carried that burden all by myself until I was old enough to realize that it was all bullshit and I forgave myself I told myself that I was only a child and I didn’t know what I was saying.

I didn’t know she was pressing me because she was jealous of my mom and her relationship.

I didn’t know at the time that Mr. Eric’s daughter, Rachelle, moved from Haiti to live with him and he was touching her.

I don’t know if everything was happening for a reason or if I was the worst erson in the world.

Mrs. Miami setting my mom up saved us in the long run.

Maybe if her business wasn’t put on blast, we wouldn’t have found out about his past, and his present.

Maybe my mom would’ve gotten married to the rapist.

But at the time all I know is that my mom lost her job and we didn’t have a place to live and it was all my fault.

“Why would you tell her those things?”

What did I tell?

I was only being honest.

The real question was…why is your friend questioning me about your panties?

It’s crazy how things work.

Devils are tricky.

They come to you sincere, as a friend, trusting, promissing, really beautiful lies…

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Un-Cuffed

Un-Cuffed
I heard it was cuffing season

so is there a reason

why im still outchea

single?

I joined tinder

plenty of fish

and made a poppin account on Christian mingle.
I’ve prayed to God

read the Quran

pledge to be a ride or die on any man’s arm.
I’ve proven to be a “good girl”

I’m a freak in the sheets

I even dated a vegan and I’ve given up meat.
I’m the perfect girl, well woman

yeah that’s what I am…
That’s why I’m perfect for cuffing season

I heard they was looking for me…

I make good benefits

but I ain’t Kash doll,
I heard they was looking for me

I’m waiting for a brave nigga

to inspect my cash roll
Bitch here I go!!
I aint gonna say it no mo
I’m tired of cuffing season coming and going

leaving me behind

like I aint religious

and it’s the end of the world

how revelations go?
Left behind as usual

Yes, I’m accusing you

of being a man living with double standards.
But “good women are so hard to find”

yeah yeah, I’ll get the phrase printed on some lanyards
The girl of your dreams

stuffed up in a time capsule, better yet bottled.
A bottle thrown into the sea never again to be found nor swaddled…

Black Utopia

You’re going to the black utopia? Can I go too?

Where the sky isn’t a typical blue

but a reddish, orangy, golden-sparkly hue.

Everyone there is just like you.

Selfless, patient, loving, intelligent, enlightening too.

Honey pours from the trees and blessings, not death, comes in threes.

You and I are the same, of course, you’d believe,

there aren’t any status symbols symbolizing or separating us because of what we believe.

There’s only one religion and that’s the belief of a longing love.

Everyone would raise their heads and never bow them again to talk to the “one above.”

We’d float down to heaven, then up to our super earth again, and then, wherever our wings would have us travelin…

Maybe we’d stop pass the old mars or visit the first stars and see everything we generalized into being just “space.”

We’ll spin and twirl and twirl and spin, until finally we pick up the pace.

We’d name everything we touch bc it would be ours to do just so, there be enough to go around no need for fighting never anyone going toe to toe.

I heard of this place called the “black uptopia” I heard it’s a place you’ve been to…

I only have one question for you.

If this place the “black utopia” exists, can I go with you?

Suppressed Deity & Young Loud Proud’s presents: Sick, Lit & LOUD

“We have been on a journey from the age of 7, creating our own stories and characters. Being underrepresented as young girls of color, we began designing our own worlds where we were able to exist freely. Presently, we are still creating platforms for disenfranchised groups, proclaiming self-acceptance. Our most recent project, Sick & Lit, is an empowering series that pokes holes in the stereotypes surrounding race, sexuality, and socioeconomic status. Please join the movement by sharing & following the link in our bio to donate to our cause.” —Suppressed Deity, LLC.

“Suppressed Deity, LLC” is an organization based in Philly that produces media content for entertainment and educational purposes.

SuppressedDeity is looking to fund their first project: “Sick & Lit” a project based on the struggles of Millennials. (please follow this link to help support their project https://www.gofundme.com/sick-and-lit-series

✨✨Check out the trailer and let me know what you think!!!✨✨

Founders, Gabbi (@november_drums) & Mishea (@diva_sass), are special guests on #YoungLoudProud’s #SpeakUpPodcast (Episode 4 titled “Sick, Lit & Loud” with #MayaDanielle @mystik.y) where they’re discussing the series Sick & Lit as well as Race, Hair, Gender, Sexuality SocialMedia, MentalHealth & so much more 🖤✨

・・・THANK YOU for a very exciting collaboration 🙏🏽💕Catch the episodes 1-4 of @YoungLoudProud’s Podcast Speak Up: An Invincible Girl’s Podcast (clickable link in bio) https://anchor.fm/invinciblegirl

Make sure you’re following @suppressed_deity (on Twitter& IG) so you don’t miss any of their upcoming projects! Stay Tuned!

Please email: proudloudyoung@gmail.com for all inquiries.

Open wound

Open wound

Did you hear? There’s an open wound for sale

A pretty pinkish reddish tomb deep of a wound for sale

A freshly picked scab of a wound; red as a rose newly bloomed for sale

Filled with a precious history, located in a place of mystery, glistening ready for a new owner for new tales kind of wound for sale

A pus-sy, cussy, almost crusty, wound with character for rent

I’ll lend it to you and collect every red cent

A constant reminder of a careless mistake, an oops of sorts, a chance to remember that healing is possible kind of mark that will help others similar relate

A sore, battle wound, a permanent marker

Something I couldn’t really give away for free even if the skin was darker

I have this wound that I would like to donate, I can’t seem to find any takers

I’ve even advertised my precious wound in Sunday’s paper

I guess no one is brave enough to take this wound off of my hands, who am I kidding I put it there in the first place

Why purchase a wound from someone who you can’t even trust to run a full course race

Someone who has never learned the lessons from the wounds, only make them bigger, well, cheaper?

I don’t know the answer but when you find it out let me know, then I’ll know you’re a real keeper

How NOT to fangirl (when you really want to) Part II. #YLPtalk

Fan·girl: (of a female fan) behaving in an obsessive or overexcited way.

Gather around Young Loud Proud, this is Part II of How NOT to fangirl (when you really want to). #YLPtalk

This past year I’ve been in a few unbelievable situations where I could’ve fangirl-ed the hell out of a couple of my favorite celebrities and could’ve made some memorable events, but I chose to stay quiet and keep to myself with the overall goal of not acting like a complete fan (even though my insides were exploding). It’s a self-control thing, I’ll tell you all about it, here goes nothing!

How to act like you don’t care that: Mary J Blige, Judy Jamison, Lena Waithe, Naomi Campbell, Naturi Naughton, Fantasia, Beverly Johnson, Queen Latifah, Ciara, Janet Jackson & Phylicia Rashad are all sitting within arms reach when all you want to do is run up to them, give out hugs, pull out your camera, and snap selfies:

I attended the filming of the was the Black Girls Rock 2018 awards show and the only question on my mind was: Do I carpe diem or nah?

BET just aired the 2018 awards show “Black Girls Rock” (on 9/9/18) an annual celebration of Black women while recognizing some of the most prominent pioneers in culture.

I had a brief close-up camera appearance so the excitement of seeing myself on TV a few weeks after the filming, basically prompted this “Part II” (of a new ongoing series on Young Loud Proud about keeping your cool and resisting the urge to fangirl celebrities).

A few weeks ago, my best friend sent me a link to attend a taping of this awards show and since I’ve always dreamed of going, this “win a chance to attend” link was right on the money (just not my money—that was a joke). I figured “sure” anything free is for me; it didn’t matter that it was almost 3 hours away in New Jersey.

So I signed right on up and the following week I was sent a surprise text asking me to confirm my attendance to the “2017 Soul Train Awards.” I rolled my eyes so hard at the confirmation, I was already reluctant to travel for this event, and part of me felt like this was the confirmation of some scam, after all, the title, year, and overall details of the show were so off.

Any who, it was all good because once I arrived, I saw a bunch of elegantly dressed people and signs indicating that I was indeed at the right show. It was a huge relief to see event staff eagerly smiling with their “Black Girls Rock event staff” tee shirts on.

So, then I exhaled. I was signed up for the correct show, traveled to the right location, made it on time, I was super cute in my semi-formal outfit, the last thing to ease my mind was the understanding of my role…while I thought I won exclusive seats what I really signed up for was an opportunity to be a seat filler.

For those of you who don’t really know who or what “seat fillers” are for award shows (if you’re reading this puzzled don’t worry I was too) the name is pretty self-explanatory. I was signing up to fill seats as necessary for the duration of the Black Girls Rock ceremony. I was expected to be shifted around, to make room, and fill in seats as necessary for the models, actors, actresses, and VIPs (et al.).

Once I ingested the duties of a seat filler after being prepped by the event staff, my best friend and I was ushered into a waiting area/auditorium where we waited over 2 hours in the hopes of being needed.

In the agreement, it clearly stated that not everyone would be chosen, so I braced myself for rejection. I don’t know why sometimes I count myself out (I need to stop doing that!!! this is a #YLPtalk for another day).

While waiting in an entirely separate and crowded auditorium, away from the actual event, I have to admit; I was anxious, hungry and ready to leave, but, I AM SO GLAD I STAYED!

I was sitting next to some complainers who figured the long wait was because they ran out of room, or they weren’t going to need us, or the “powers that be” didn’t like our outfits but I’m so glad I’ve mastered the art of tuning people out because they were dead wrong.

Not only did we get seated, but the ushers ended up sitting my best friend and I (together) in the second row! Yes, we were up close and personal, just a few feet from the amazing “Black Girls Rock” stage and we didn’t get shuffled or asked to move NOT ONCE!

Capture.JPG

(This was the only picture I was brave enough to snap as we were leaving out!)

Overall, this was the best experience ever; I ended up sitting right behind Naturi Naughton (commonly known as “Tasha” from 50 cent’s show “Power”), and while trying not to fangirl, I began to notice more of THE GREATS and it was completely unbelievable.

I saw the likes of Mary J Blige, Lena Waithe, Naomi Campbell, Fantasia, Beverly Johnson & Phylicia Rashad … it was all so inspirational just to be surrounded by them and to feel their positive energy. In the words of Mary J “Black Girls just Rock, we just do…” I felt the magic all through the room.

My opinion: to fangirl at an elegant awards show entirely uncalled for and is probably the quickest way to get removed. One thing I will confess: I did bring a copy of “An Ode to the “Good Girl” and leave it under Judy Jamison’s chair but whether she got it or security removed it is neither here nor there…that was the extent of me fangirl-ing…

I was so honored to be there, and I respected that this was such a sacred space full of #BlackGirlMagic. I didn’t see a bunch of bodyguards everywhere, you know? Everyone was basically enjoying each other in harmony, and I thought to myself “yeah this is exactly where I should be.”

I declared to myself that next year I’d be up on that stage and not just in the audience and you better believe it! It was like the best motivational rally, therapy session, church service, and most amazing free concert I’ve ever been to all wrapped up into one event.

You have to realize people are in celeb’s faces all day snapping photos, asking for selfies, recording, and it’s entirely annoying for them. At least that’s what I think. Although I had already signed an agreement not to take out my cell phone before going inside, I was so tempted! Especially when my favorite auntie Phylicia Rashad came on the stage!

They showed me twice so I’m just being joe 😭😭 like look ma I’m on TV!

Some of my favorite moments:

Mary J Blige’s acceptance speech (click here on this link to see my cameo LOL)
Fantasia’s tribute to Aretha Franklin
H.E.R’s performance
Lena Waithe’s acceptance speech

Honestly I signed up through the link for the “2017 Soul Train Awards” with my best friend, ended up waiting for almost 3 hours, and then come to find out it was only to be a seat filler. I was so disappointed but I’m glad I held on because it turned out to be one of the best experiences ever.

I never expected to be sitting up front at alllllll…

The Black Girls Rock 2018 awards show was epic; I’m so thankful to have been a part of that celebration on our culture. I was moved by Trana Burke’s (the founder of the #MeToo movement) speech. I was so excited to celebrate, alongside so many pioneers in our culture that I truly admire, ones that I grew up (past generational celebrities) with and am growing up with (current generation). I realize the magic that took place is unique and want to acknowledge that it isn’t often that we (black women) are celebrated or glorified in the media.

We have to mostly fight for our kudos and share the weight of having to overcompensate for ourselves sometimes, so let me just say I don’t know of a better example/way to do that than exclaiming “Black Girl, YOU ROCK!”

Thank you BET for displaying positive images of black women, shouting out those that are otherwise dimmed, or volume turned down by the media, thank you for shouting us out!!!

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Don’t let me discourage you Young Loud Proud people, if you fangirl, do it with pride, go hard or not at all…this is only a mere suggestion of how to get re-invited to the events LOL!

I just wanted to share some of my thoughts and experiences with you because you never know sometimes… I’ve been in certain situations with people whom I really admire, and for the sake of not being a complete fool, I suppress the “shock and awe” methodologies I try and live by… but…what do you guys think? Will being bold always work for your benefit? Sometimes you can put yourself out there, not act shy and grab what you want and it totally works but you have to be careful, or you’ll look thirsty.

Have you had a run in with a celeb or hung out with a crush/someone you admire? Do you disagree with this theory? Please let me know!!! Email me! proudloudyoung@gmail.com

If you’re interested in more personal reflections/rants/stories like these check out the book of poems I recently published: “An Ode to the ‘Good Girl’” available in paperback or kindle (e-book)

I’m going to let y’all in on a lil secret (a Twitter thread turned short story) #YLPtalk

(For the full experience on How to lose a guy in 140 characters or less…click here!)

I’m going to let y’all in on a lil secret

I called myself being adventurous this weekend

AND a couple of weekends before annnnnnd…..

I got my feelings hurt 😭✨

y’all date outside y’all race or nah???

I met think extremely NICE white guy

Peep I didn’t say cute lol

And we started taking our dogs for walks and whatnot

Explored all the trails in the Wissahickon

Smoked a lot of bud so I was like ayeeeee yassss we can get fried together no problem yassss

He drank off my water bottle one time (I was a lil thrown off)

We did share a blunt so I figured maybe that’s why he was real comfortable

Anyway, he told me he taught at a local school

(environmental sciences, lectures on etc.)

I started applauding myself on my versatility in men

Like yasssss Maya 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 you are diverse you’re not particular at all 😭😭

Finally a guy who is lecturing on sustainability and not spending hundreds of dollars at the strip club

I never dated outside of my race before but for my first time I wasn’t too mad

That was until…😭😭😭😭😭😭 he started showing me affection

I’m so mean y’all

I kissed him a couple of time but nah I wasn’t feeling it too much

So like a week later we went out for sushi it was such a great date

but after he wanted me to go back to his house and I declined…

I could tell by the look on his face he was disappointed but I didn’t care in fact I ended up feeling some type of way that after a few walks and a sushi date he thought I would want to go back to his place for “more drinks and a smoke session”

Anyway anyway I just asked for a rain check on the session and asked him to take me home

so he pulls up to my apartment to drop me off and I saw him coming in for a kiss it was the most awkward thing ever…

He had food all stuck in his beard and it was just not a good look

So I kinda gave him my cheek to kiss and gave him a big hug and his reply was “oh I only get to kiss you on your cheek I want your lips”

I just stared at his sloppy beard turned off and it was just making the situation more awkward that he asked idkkk….

So I just told him I would call him later and I got out of his car and he immediately peeled off

Like ok you’re mad omg I was ctfu

until I realized I didn’t have my keys

So while I’m dumping my bag out on my front porch not believing how salty I was, he calls me…

He literally said “I felt like a little boy asking you for a kiss like I’m peterpan or something why didn’t you want to kiss me?”

I didn’t know the situation could get any more awkward…

I just replied and said “you know I’m still looking for my keys I’m not even in my house yet so I need to call you back”

But he would’ve known that if he hadn’t peeled off all mad but anyway

I found my keys and went in my house and not five seconds later I was greeted by this

Why the fuck did I tell him I like poetry 🙄

So I realized that obviously I’m not naturally affectionate toward him and although I was extremely curious I just wasn’t readyyyy and the fact he kept pointing it out was making me feel even more awkward

So I just figured I’d fall back a bit I didn’t want him to think I was leading him on and I did like him but maybe as friends and I thought maybe affection would come in time…

Bruh.

It gets better…

Y’all I thought I was being mean…I thought this nice guy deserves another chance

all he wants to do is shower me with affection and he’s so nice so what am I running from?

I thought I was being “that girl” the one who complains about wanting a nice guy than when she gets one she doesn’t know how to treat them blah blah blah..

So I said fuck it I’ll go out with him again and if he does the touchy-feely kissy kissy too much I’ll just and say something and we’ll see where it goes from there…

So we walk our dogs on the trails and smoke (and I thought ok I’m in the middle of the woods with this man I better act right😭 he out of no where stops and goes in to kiss me on my neck

Not awkward at alllllll right? I cringed and stopped him immediately

like this isn’t even the time or place like wtf it’s bugs everywhere I’m getting bit up Brownie has run off somewhere where is my puppy?

So he asked me “where is this going?” “You and me?”

Do y’all think I stayed in the woods and answered him truthfully or got out of there first?”

My crazy ass let it rip I told him that the aggressive affection was not for me…and why he expected me to make out with him every time I saw him (only knowing him a couple of weeks)

He told me how attracted he was to me and how beautiful I was so it was hard not to be aggressive

I told him I was flattered but it’s just too much especially since I don’t know him like that

I admit I might have been lying a bit bc when you like someone and you’re attracted the timeline doesn’t really matter lol

but since he’s a white man it’s all so new and I needed to take baby steps OK judge if you want but I kinda liked the newness of what we had and I just didn’t want to ruin it with all of that extra shut that’s the honest truth

*shit*

So after a brief silence he asked if I was celibate or ever going to show him any type of affection

(Yikessss) bc if I wasn’t celibate then there would be no excuse for not wanting him to feel all up on me and kiss my neck and slobber on me in the woods right?

I told him I was but that was besides the point…and that it wasn’t that I didn’t like him it was just new to me.

He said ok and I felt immediately bad like maybe I was being too harsh but fuck that I’m a woman and I get to choose what and when I do things right?

I made it my mission to go on another date just to seeeeeeeee if I was trippin

So after he dropped me off we said an awkward goodbye, he kissed me on the cheek, and keys in hand, I headed toward my front door.

He calls after me and get ready for this, he runs up to give me some lavender, peppers, tomatoes and other things from his garden that he had picked for me earlier but just forgot to give to me

So I graciously accepted (even tho I still had my mind made up I was going on another date bc I still needed to see sumthn)

I changed clothes and headed out on my next date…

My other friend (black guy) picked me up we smoke and talked and had a grand time.

I asked him if he’s dated outside his race, if he was curious, would he do it again, was she affectionate, did he like it, all the questions I should’ve never asked him ctfu

He admitted he had out of curiosity but it just wasn’t his forte but his younger sister was ONLY into white guys

He explained that she was living in a fantasy world and only wanted relationships she saw on tv (🙄) that was only his opinion so I disregarded but one thing that stuck was the fact he admitted the white girl showed him another side to dating

That was true for me as well, and I had confirmed that some times people date outside of their race for different reasons (and I wasn’t alone)

I liked his thoughtfulness, his compliments, the fact that he lit up when he saw me, picked things from his garden for me, would run to his car so I wouldn’t dare touch the door…

he was vegan, he was all earthy, he’d traveled the world (current goal of mine). He’s experienced so much that I had only dreamed of and that was attractive idk it was all new and I liked him for that

BUT him touching me and saying things like “oooooh what are you doing to me” turned me off so much

So anyway, I was talking to guy #2 enjoying my second date that turned more or a friendly pow wow and I sort of came to the conclusion that I wasn’t dating either just looking to fulfill a male friendship role in my life

So remember when I said I got my feelings hurt?

As I was leaving guy number two he says “oh yeah I saw you a couple of weeks ago” and I go “oh yeah where” he was like “mad mex”

I said “oh yeah why didn’t you say anything?” then he goes on to tell me that wasn’t the first time he goes on to tell me how he’d seen me with some white guy in the park a few times too but figured he’d mind his business

Then THEN he goes on to ask me if I used to have red hair…fuck yes but everyone knows that bc my hair was red for most of last year

I’m rapping this up y’all..PROMISE lol

So moral of the story is I was annoyed with two different guys for two totally different reasons but it was so similar I could’ve gagged

On the one hand I have a white guy who is too affectionate, sort of stalker-ish but I was so into him because of the unknown, my curiosity led me to him but my fear of intimacy fucked everything up

On the other hand I had a black guy that I had been dating on and off (completely stalker-ish) but I wouldn’t have know unless I pulled it out of him…attracted to him bc of all physical (no unknown aspects)

So yeahhhhh my feelings hurt 😔 bc I realized while I was trying to see something (the something being my comfort level in dating black guys vs white guys) I realized I just have a pattern in men and it has nothing to do with race

I’m looking for something that neither guy could give me something I can only give myself

I just want someone I’m physically AND mentally attracted to but I just make up so many excuses so I’ll never find that person…

My feelings are hurt bc I realize I push people away all of the time and run after other people who do the same thing to me….

I realized I’m someone’s Anders 😂 I’m someone’s curiousity, someone’s favorite person living in the friend zone too and…

If you want to read more about my crazy life/realizations ❤️ check out my new book of poems “An Ode to the Good Girl” #AnOdetoGG Excerpts are on

I’m actually giving out a few free copies so RT this thread if you’re really interested and I’ll DM you 😛😂😭😩✨👀

 

We were happy. #ForeverHoldYourPiece

I looked you in your eyes tonight, and for the first time, I knew what it felt like to be loved.

Somewhere in between tomorrow and forever I could see us joint as one.

We were happy.

In between our gaze, I heard a pretentious vow:

“I was never a woman to believe in love at first sight, but everything’s changed since I met you.”

We are happy.

You elaborated on the strong connection turned fatal attraction and your contemplations of everlasting after everlasting.

We will be happy.

I entertain thoughts of spending the rest of my life with you; magic is not only for fairy tales.

I want love.

I’m in love in a time when love isn’t taken seriously…but I would be a fool to look at you again and not be prepared to say “I Do.”

I’m loved.

An excerpt from “An Ode to the ‘Good Girl’” available in paperback or kindle (e-book)

Journalism ❤️ YLP blogging (Thank You)

New blog posts are up on #youngloudproud.com I’m continuing to shine light on #blackexcellence ✨ “I can’t help but to SHOUT OUT the #YLP kings & queens and their incredible stories.

There are always so many noteworthy #blackexcellence posts being shared all over my social media timelines/dashboards/feeds/etc. and I feel like the positive needs more recognition period!!!!

Thank you all!!! From the people who post/repost, to the people being shouted out- who are out here putting in the work, paving the way and grinding!

You fuel this blog:. I find so many melinated people so inspirational and motivating and at the end of the day that’s why this blog YOUNG LOUD PROUD even exists, so again, thank you all.

If you have a personal story or someone you want to SHOUT OUT for being #YLP don’t be afraid to email me: proudloudyoung@gmail.com

I look forward to hearing from you.”💪🏾❤️🙌🏾💕✨ (blogged by @mystik.y)

Here’s a bit of background just Incase you’re curious on how/why YLP came to be:

My interests in journalism continuously grow. I love to read and have always enjoyed creating stories both fictional and non-fictional. I have a strong interest in literature and always wanted to spread knowledge to teach people while spreading the truth. Growing up, my mother nicknamed me Action News because I reminded her of a reporter; consistently gathering information and investigating.

My long term goals include writing/publishing a novel and ultimately publishing my own magazine. I’m slowly but surely accomplishing my goals (An Ode to the “Good Girl” is now available through Amazon). My short term goals include continuing my education to advance my journalistic integrity and acquire additional skills. A girl can never really stop learning right?

One thing I’ll always need is to hear from YOU!! Please email me you thoughts comments concerns contributions, etc. proudloudyoung@gmail.com stay blessed, stay YLP!!

Managing relationships in the Workplace (Give me #YLP but make it professional) #YLPtalk

Managing Relationships

Effectively managing relationships in the workplace is a skill I wish to strengthen as I journey through my career path especially while trying to climb the career ladder; shooting for various leadership roles (which is always a goal of mine).

Both my personal and professional relationships have distinct differences for several reasons revolving around my zone of comfort. As I analyze the relationships that I have created both personally and professionally, I’ve concluded that the personal relationships are more comfortable to maintain as opposed to the relationships I’ve established among colleagues.

Most of my personal relationships and interactions occur by choice as I pick my friends according to our similarities, enjoyment, and companionship. Being selective makes managing these relationships easy. I often surround myself with people that I feel comfortable and safe around; at work, I do not have the option to be as selective.

Transitioning from a social setting (mainly school) into a professional environment (working field) was tough. I initially had to learn the aspects of professionalism in the workplace, as well as collaborating effectively with diverse groups of people.

Working alongside a completely diverse group was a challenge for me when I first started working (back in 2010) being the only young, African-American, female within the biomedical research community. I’ve had a lot of positive and negative experiences with being employed at a younger age than my counterparts; working toward, obtaining, and maintaining a leadership position is tough. It can be competitive, and I’ve lost some people who at one time I called “friends.”

Forming personal relationships came naturally from socializing. I think this is because I am genuinely a very friendly person, but I learned how dangerous it could be to blend business with personal relationships. This really only became an issue when I wanted to enter into a leadership position. This created a barrier during times of conflict…I had trouble separating the business from personal feelings; eventually, I learned how NOT to mix business with pleasure (and please avoid it if you can just DON’T DO IT!!!!!).

I had to acquire additional professional skills over the years: I learned professionalism, grew thicker skin, learned the benefits of being independent as well as working with a team, developed better communication, learned independent problem solving, and time management skills, and also learned how to maintain/manage working relationships better.

Some additional lessons I’ve learned and skills I’ve acquired over time include: continuous lessons in communication (I cant stress this enough); communication is essentially how we develop self-concept, and it is also a factor in how we are perceived.

Most relationships are determined how well you communicate literally through confidence, effective speech (but also your thoughts, feels, and how well you can educate others).

A person in a strong leadership position should possess certain characteristics of a good leader, and this includes the ability to communicate. Good communication and listening skills contribute to creating great relationships.

Through communication, we project our character to ourselves and other people. Communication can make or break anyone in a leadership position. A manager or supervisor exhibiting poor communication with their staff will pay the cost of having that reflected in production or lack thereof. I rely heavily on email as a primary source of communication; this often presents an issue as I am often faced with miscommunication sometimes due to language barriers. At work, I am expected to communicate effectively and interact with diverse groups of individuals as part of a leadership team within a research community; my working environment is the most diverse in race, culture, age, and gender.

I am continuously working toward achieving my goals for success, in the hopes of advancing in my career. This means showing an interest in improving work habits, acquiring additional educating, working on professional development and keeping a positive attitude.

Independently, I sought ways to continue my education through courses on effectively communicating across cultures, testing different strategies such as continuing education has helped with effectively managing relationships professionally.

As I think about the various challenges I’ve overcome in my current leadership position, I realize there is still work to do.

Moving forward, I will continue to educate myself on how to effectively manage relationships in the workplace and during interactions with people outside of the workplace.

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