Posts tagged “truth

5115 Wissahickon Ave.

Times like this my mom would say the devil is busy..

I think he has too much time on his hands

He’s taking a break while I’m filling my head

with silly things that aren’t true

In the back of my mind and in the front of my mind is you

You, telling me, reminding me of our sacred ritual

I’m head over heels, heels over heads

always indulging in a mess, stuck, never moving all the way through

Loving the lust, the lies

Comforting hellos, harsh goodbyes,

you know I love me… some you

But you, and I, this back and forth, aint nothing new

In time itll all be gone, the ending of a song, but just wait for part 2

____________________________________________________________________________________________

5115 Wissahickon Avenue

“Does Mr. Eric spend the night with your mom often? Is he living in the house with you?”

At the time I didn’t know that my mom’s best friend was questioning me only to stab her in the back. After all, I was only seven…who uses a child as a vehicle for evil and gossip?

When my mom went to work the next morning, her best friend, Mrs. Miami, handed her a copy of an email she drafted to the Philadelphia school district asking for her immediate removal as Principal from Bethune elementary.

The email contained personal information (information she squeezed from a 7 year old) about my mom’s relationship with an accused rapist.

I was only a child so of course I didn’t know what was going on.

I carried the burden of my mom losing her job which left us homeless for 4 years.

I carried that burden all by myself until I was old enough to realize that it was all bullshit and I forgave myself I told myself that I was only a child and I didn’t know what I was saying.

I didn’t know she was pressing me because she was jealous of my mom and her relationship.

I didn’t know at the time that Mr. Eric’s daughter, Rachelle, moved from Haiti to live with him and he was touching her.

I don’t know if everything was happening for a reason or if I was the worst erson in the world.

Mrs. Miami setting my mom up saved us in the long run.

Maybe if her business wasn’t put on blast, we wouldn’t have found out about his past, and his present.

Maybe my mom would’ve gotten married to the rapist.

But at the time all I know is that my mom lost her job and we didn’t have a place to live and it was all my fault.

“Why would you tell her those things?”

What did I tell?

I was only being honest.

The real question was…why is your friend questioning me about your panties?

It’s crazy how things work.

Devils are tricky.

They come to you sincere, as a friend, trusting, promissing, really beautiful lies…

Advertisements

Queen of Spies

A poem inspired by: “I Know an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly” & “Harriet the Spy”

RIP to the queen of spies (the one who told the truest lies)


Most beautiful when she didn’t have her cigarette, Maya, was the kindest person I ever met!

The Queen who spied was the same when the sun rose and when the sun set; not a liar at all if I had to make a bet


Don’t know for sure if everything I heard is fact or just a story


I wish I were lie detector… Where the hell is Maury?

I’ll tell you what happened to the Notorious Q.O.S (Queen of Spies) and try my best to explain this mess


I’ll tell you all about the day she died, it might make you cry or her demise might go over your head, it might just pass you by…


…if you let it.


Some say, on the third day, when God said “Let there be light” Maya was there, looking over God’s shoulder


From the vast seas, to grassy plains, to huge mountain boulders

She was there, and writing too, saw colors that filled the sky before the creator decided on blue

There she was writing all about God’s creations, witnessed the formation of every nation, before everyone became anyone this someone came and this someone knew


Maya was there to see the world sparkle, she got the first look, describing all of the world’s glory in her little book; how didn’t she run out of pages trying to describe how lit everything looked?

I wish she could tell me about the sun, and how she sat and watched the huge burning star grow; I want to hear all about the huge celebration she helped the angels throw


Alas, the world’s oldest notebook(s), which is how it all started; so many pages filled with words, sweet, yet tarted


They say Maya-ette, with her cigarette, wrote a story and made Jesus weep; wrote into the souls of men and with the flick of her pen she could change reality…

She knew why the caged bird sang, why children were really afraid of clowns, visited the black utopia, witnessed the Queen of England crack a smile, heard she greeted the Pope at the Vatican with a “My Nigga,” and laughed as he frowned…


Dubbed a “liar,” she wanted to hide the book deep inside her


Protecting her secrets all while keeping a level head

She could have shared her knowledge but decided to consume it all instead


I believe she recorded the truth, some say it was all lies, but now we’ll never know who really shot Malcolm, Martin, Kennedy, who ran down the Princess…or if Tupac is dead or alive


All because Maya decided to fill up her tummy; she ate all her secrets like they were yummy


Page by page she tore up the notebook and ate it away

I hate to spread rumors and gossip but this was a crazy day


I’ll never forget how the neighborhood just stood by and watched as Maya faded away…


Maya-ette, with her cigarette, the only living being knowing the world’s biggest secret


To the end of the earth she traveled and then she went way beneath it…


What she wrote throughout her journey she never told a soul and finally the secrecy had taken its toll

I think she went crazy, you see, so much of the world’s mystery, all bottled up she could no longer contain them


I’ll tell you about the day that came, the rainy day full of shame, the day she decided to die than to rise to fame


A sad day when she devoured all her power, like a cake made with real sugar and real flour


Delicious, private, secret words, curry, jerked, and filled with lemon curds


But no matter how people spin it, it was her own private notebook (no matter what was assumed to be in it)

First, just let me say, RIP to the queen of spies!


Here’s how she met her demise:

The Queen of spies, now permanently living in the skies, kept a notebook to write what she felt inside and who and what she encountered when she traveled through time

She recorded the first bigfoot sighting, was the only person to touch lightning, was friends with the last living giants, she knew why the men and women who went to war would come back and be sworn to silence, she was present for the signing of the Magna Carter, she traveled throughout the galaxy, some say she visited the “farther”

Words cold as ice, her spying came with a price, pages burning like fire, she would go down in history and the world’s most honest liar

I don’t really know how she felt inside, if she wrote the truth or if it was only lies, whether she was only 23 or really 2099 all I remember is how died.

Now, I’m sad to say, there’s no one to attest if there’s really a hell or if heaven is a lifetime away, who was behind 911 or if global warming is only a hoax, and why babies are the only ones who can see ghosts…

No one really talked to the girl who ate the “lies” all we know is how well she spied, so let me tell you how she died:

Her neighbors who thought she was a living lie, got together and made a shoe fly pie, made of real shoes and real flies (hardly any real pie) and presented the terrible dessert to the Queen of spies, all while trying to steal away her “book of lies”

In one gulp she finished the pie, she licked her lips and said goodbye, you would think that was all it took, but she held onto that notebook, and left her gifters shook

Holding tight onto her notebook, day by day, if the tales of monsters and demons inside it were real, I couldn’t say, all I know is that she was a creature of habit

People-watching and writing was all she ever did, and she was a pro at keeping it all hid

Never shared how the interviews went with all the children torn from their families at the border, never mentioned the mental conditions of the lifers in prison growing older, people living their lives in their cages, so much heartbreak must’ve filled her pages

You know, she never took the credit when she convinced congressmen to raise minimum wages

Some say she saw the inside of the first bible’s pages, was there when it was written, visited the earth’s core, and touched the bottom of the deepest ocean’s floor

I heard she met the president’s president (the secret societies society), made friends aliens even married twin dwarves, read the minds of all great historians, visited the moon and finds time to comfort all of the mothers’ who’s babies are “gone too soon,”

You could tell there was something that pulled and tugged and pulled and tugged, and pulled and tugged at her

Although few really tried to, no one could ever figure out what was the matter

Always looking like she fell to the bottom of a pit, she kept a facial expression that looked like she seen some shit

The more the chatter, the more people wonder what was the matter, the more she grew nervous about what people would find

She was ridiculed, called names, but if she really knew what was being said I don’t think she’d mind…

After all, you can’t really offend someone who saw how the world would end…or the one who figured out how to make reality bend

Maya was more concerned about her writing, her truth, her stories, the one thing she had that no one could take away

Here’s how she tried to hide the spying, here’s what led to her dying, here’s why people thought her stories were only her lying, here’s to what happened that day:

 I think she knew that day would come, the day when her own people would revolt against her, not the government that controlled their lives, but a little lady deemed an enemy of the state, a state of mind, a witch of a spy who had devoured a poison pie

I heard it was all a fantasy world she created while she spied, mixed with stories of monsters and demons and spirits that dwelled inside…

They say she wrote stories to heal the pain

The pain that came each time it rained

It rained because she was so sad inside

Was what she wrote the truth or lies?

I know it was the truth, she dedicated her life to traveling and crossed many tides

RIP to the queen of Spies

So, finally, here’s exactly how she died:

She was poisoned by the shoe fly pie (the one her neighbors made filled with real shoes and real flies and hardly any pie)

Then she decided to continue eating her notebook like it was cake

I saw her swallowed down her lucky pen the one used to write about heaven and the world’s end


Then a spare, without a care, she swallowed what some say was the pen she used to record a formula to create air

It isn’t fair how quickly she ate her contact lenses and glasses, no one would ever be able to look through what she saw not even if they bought the same lashes

She swallowed down the lenses to her camera, contacts too! Oh and her glasses and her eye lashes, pens and her notebook, you would think that was all it took even after eating the shoe fly pie (the one made with real shoes and real flies) but she continued on until her last breath until she died

RIP to the QOS (Queen of Spies)!


Next, she ate her favorite pets and washed them down with her cigarette, keep reading this, I’m not done yet; I can still hear Brownie barking in her stomach, a puppy, a guppy, a snake and it’s charmer

she swallowed her lighter, and her belly grew warmer…you could see the flicker of the flame burning and shining bright from deep inside her

Then, all of a sudden, there was a huge fire, the pages she ate reacted to the lighter, that was ignited by the cigarette, I’m not done yet, the pets got sick off of the uneaten shoe fly pies that stuck to her insides, as the cigarette burned and her pets’ stomach turned Maya turned blue

The flicker of the flame grew larger the one that burned and shined bright from deep inside her…


Out from her mouth was the loudest belch with a bunch of smoke so to contain the flames she swallowed some tea (more pages from her notebook), the secrets of a brewing WWIII, the future, and more unwritten history

She swallowed a first aid kit, some antibiotics, some anti flea and tick tablets her pets; a heroic meal for her sidekicks

She ate up an umbrella for that dreary hazy day god forbid if any moisture got in her way

Call her crazy, or just remember her like that girl lazy Jane, the one would wanted a drink of water but would wait for the days it rained


Maya thought she needed a raincoat, to go with her umbrella so she swallowed that in just one gulp, she swallowed the coat to protect the “GOAT” (a spare notebook) which should’ve been all it took but she kept on eating; all while her neighbors trembled and shook…


Pages from her notebook, pens, a spare, a formula for creating air, a rain coat, an umbrella to protect the GOAT, delicious tea, secrets of a brewing WWIII, consumed and you would think this was all it took but she continued on devouring anything anyone could use to read between the lines of history books

She continued to eat everything she thought would protect her, she consumed all the things she could quickly gather and the flames from the fire grew bigger and brighter…


Throughout the grape vine, they say, she swallowed boots, that were laced, with a drug that would make her pace, that would help her digest so she could continue her race

Pressed for time she swallowed mace (just in case), what a taste, she felt herself slipping away you could tell it was written on her face

Oh dear, down went some pretty underwear, momma always said to keep a spare pair

She swallowed her savings; dollar bills and piggy bank cents, bargaining chips for the afterlife and some common incense


Where she was going next, was a world full of more nightmares than dreams…giving meaning to the phrase nothing is what it seems


They say she consumed her entire room (and in it was a special broom, she would occasionally take flight at night but no one ever caught that site), a listening piece (the one she used to spy on her niece) and she ate it all down to the wire, to secure all the juiciness and details deep inside her.

Next up a recorder that hooked up to the listening piece, her favorite laptop that stored all the chatter, that tumbled and tumbled you’d asked what’s the matter?

By this time everyone had gathered around, to see the Queen who her spied on her hometown…


They watched, then laughed as she went and swallowed her own Fingerprints, we know because she was the only one who wore henna on her fingertips


By this time everyone had pulled up, all the cars from the neighborhood, some with the darkest of window tints


Watching as Maya-ette kept going, I’m sad to drag on, but she swallowed a DNA kit/she thought that idea was lit, Promised that was it, but she was still in a pit, of nervousness, so let me continue on…


She thought her passport would keep her out of court so she went and swallowed that and her fake ID, so no one could prove her true identity


So she then ate her real license, I know you’re in suspense, so let me attempt to make this make sense


She swallowed her passport and everything else I guess to keep from going to court

Maya-ette the spy decided that wasn’t enough, she wasn’t too stuffed she huffed and the smoke puffed, after she devoured her Flash drive to really save the data you would think she was finally done.

Everyone had finally won, she sat down weighing a ton, big as a house in the middle of her street not making a peep

Quiet as a mouse she closed her eyes for a really long sleep away one by one did all the neighbors creep

It was a sad sight looking at the many pounds sitting on the ground frowns stayed upside down

Hardly anyone was looking but I saw her get very tense and with the last bit of her strength, Shoved down her throat her newest iPhone, no more social media, she was finally all alone, but not on her own on her own

She swallowed her bike she used to ride to her car

She swallowed her car but down her throat it didnt get too far


It got stuck but she kept trying and eventually it slid down with the help of some muck


Then she swallowed a gun to protect her Bike, the one she promised to return to Mike


She swallowed a Gun and that made her dizzy/ she spun, she quickly changed her name to Lizzy, still protecting her secrets til the very moment she was done


All in the effort to protect her “lies” this is how she met her demise.


Here I am, her protégé, reporting on how she died that day.


Short story made long, meaning for it to be a long story short.


I went to her grave and dug up everything and began to sort, through all the things she swallowed, through every piece of precious junk


RIP Maya-ette, I’ll miss you and your cigarette, you are gone but your mission lives on.


I’d like to reintroduce myself.

Hi, I’m the new Queen of spies.

 

 

Cheers! Find out some of the highlights of my experience traveling to London, England (solo)

I traveled to London, England and had the best experience ever traveling solo.

At first, I was nervous to take this trip but I’m so glad I took the chance!

The following are some of the highlights from my solo adventure.

First up (one of my favorites):

The Shard London:

The shard is the UK’s tallest structure (skyscraper) and it’s the fifth tallest building in all of Europe.

(Here’s a view from the London Tower Bridge)

img_7508

It’s dubbed “the shard London” because, just like it’s name, this beautiful structure is shaped like a shard of glass.

It’s 95 stories tall and the view from the top is breathtaking.

Construction started in 2009 and doors opened in 2012 (so the Shard is fairly new). It’s home to offices, restaurants, and apartments.

The view from the Shard:

img_7313

this was one of my favorite experiences because you could see all of London at once and take in all of its beauty!

The Tower Of London:

img_7475-1.jpg

Home of the Crown Jewels!!

The most BEAUTIFUL diamonds, emeralds, rubies, sapphires, pearls, gold, royal crowns, scepters, jeweled out swords and just a bunch of royal history (from generations of the royal families) reside here.

All in one place are the most breathtaking jewels I’ve ever seen in my life.

I was not allowed to take any pictures inside but take my word for it!!

There were guards everywhere protecting the vault Crown Jewels.

The Tower of London was many things over time…

It was a defense tower:

img_7487.jpg

It was a menagerie (zoo) for when the royal family would receive live gifts (animals) from all over the world.

One of my favorite stories was about the pet polar bear that King Charles received and how he would take it to the river Thames so it could fish:

img_7486.jpg

The Tower was also a place of execution; within its walls was the “bloody tower” where prisoners who were sentenced to death would spend their last hours.

London Tower Bridge:

This historic landmark was built between 1886-1894 and is used to cross the Thames River.

The tower bridge gets confused as the popular “London Bridge” all of the time but this Bridge HAS NEVER FALLEN.

In fact it is built with some of the strongest materials in the world.

This Bridge was built because of the necessity of having to cross it everyday for work and other purposes (over 170,000 people cross this bridge everyday).

The steam/ engine rooms were pretty cool to visit.

Once operated by coal and a 100 person team, now a single person is able to operate this Bridge with a few clicks on a operating board.

img_7521.jpg

img_7532.jpg

The view of Big Ben:

Lastly, one of my favorite moments was taking a Thames River Cruise ❣️ and the view of Big Ben!

London is so beautiful at night because everything is illuminated; this cruise was the best way to see all of the lights:

Look at the London Eye!!

img_7604.jpg

I purchased a three day London pass which turned out to be my best investment because I was able to skip long lines (or queues as the British say), avoid pricey entry fees, and receive other types of discounts at over 100 attractions.

<Please invest in this pass if you’re planning on doing any sightseeing in London it’s so worth it!>

For more details on my trip make sure you’re following the series “Four countries in one week: how I survived my solo adventure” (or simply click here)

Click here to find out about my experience at Buckingham Palace and the protest I encountered.

Four countries in one week Part. II “No, your basic Spanish won’t help in Portugal”

Welcome to Part. II of “How I survived my impulsive solo adventure(“No, your basic Spanish won’t help in Portugal”) 

This series will detail my personal experiences while traveling solo in the hopes of encouraging my fellow solo travelers! I also want to explain the side effects of making impulsive decisions (when you rush into a trip without planning it right).

So, cheers to more careless mistakes I’ve made that snowballed into the best experience of my life!

Comfort zones are overrated

I really want to encourage people to step out of their comfort zone(s) and experience something or someplace new even if it’s just once…a year.

Even if the adventure doesn’t go exactly how you planned, the trip is still worth a shot; you don’t know what’s out there in the world until you get off your butt and see it for yourself!

Not everything (travel wise) will be perfect but, hey, it’s all about your perspective and you should be determined to take the good with the bad in any “fail” or “bust” as I’ve learned to do!

I’ve met so many people who are satisfied with where they are in life and who feel at ease dwelling in the same city blocks of their hometown.

I’ve always wondered about the people who are OK existing in a world where they’ve only traveled around >10% of it.

As if traveling somewhere new isn’t attainable or is so much of a farfetched idea (maybe this is just out of fear); I’m here to share that this big ole world is yours and it’s time to get out and explore it!

You’ll be surprised how much you’ll learn about yourself when you’re in a brand new place.

American Privilege: Imagine That

Imagine: standing in long customs’ lines, being questioned about your history, whereabouts, and intentions in a country you are trying to enter then receiving the ultimate prize: entry across the border!

Imagine saying “I’m just traveling for fun!” and getting the response “oh, I see you’re on holiday.”

This was only the beginning of my experiences last week and I melted inside at every accent I encountered, every smile, and every frown!

If you’re American, like me, all of this may be a new experience for you, with your American privilege and all…you really don’t get how foreign you are until someone is pissed at you or impatient because you don’t know the language or if you take time to examine each coin before paying for your food.

Lisboa 🇵🇹

Originally my trip to Lisbon was only supposed to be a fourteen hour layover but since I was no longer going to Africa I figured why waste the $50 ticket? Maybe I could still go to Portugal and experience a really cool day trip.

I was determined to see the best of Lisboa (in turn, this was also a bust but a beautiful learning experience nonetheless).

After spending two hours in the customs line and spending the next two getting drenched by the rain and trying to make it to Castelo de Muros just to get there and find everything shut down I was so disappointed and declared it another BUST!

I waited for a bus that never came, I walked up a steep hill-ed street to another bus stop just to find out I needed the bus going in the opposite direction, and it was just a bad experience.

Picture this: you’re wandering around in a country where YOU are the foreigner.

It may seem scary at first but the more you explore the more you see yourself in other people; humanity becomes more than just a word, it becomes a realization.

There are people on the of side of this world living their lives, and they’re so much like you but so different at the same time.

Language Arts

To all of the people (who love to make impulsive decisions as I do), I would first like to say learning everything possible about the places you want travel PRIOR to booking the flights is key. One thing I regret is not taking the time to learn Portuguese.

*Take time to learn the language (No your basic Spanish won’t help in Portugal) and trying to sound out places with your American accent will be frustrating.

“Este Rios” is NOT pronounced how it looks…I found that out the hard way.

PLEASE, I can’t stress enough, even if it’s just the basics, take the time to learn the official language of the places you’re traveling and don’t rely so much on a translator because most times they won’t work as they should…

This was a huge inconvenience for me in Portugal and one of the reasons it was my least favorite stop along my travels. I couldn’t understand anyone and they couldn’t understand me so it made traveling via their public transit system.

I fried my brain trying to decipher these maps but I pride myself in finally figuring them out…my mission was to get to Sinatra to see the Castle of the Moors, I needed to take the 427 bus from my location, get off at “Este Rios” catch a train to Sinatra and I’d be set.

By the time I got there everything was shutdown so I had to turn right back around and head back to my hostel.

The moon was absolutely beautiful at night and I came across this massive church that I admired for a bit.

Hostel Stay (Corujinha Hostel in Portugal)

To be honest the best part of this trip was the view of the moon and my hostel stay.

Being cheap once again, I decided that instead of spending a ton of hotels I would stay in hostels.

Why pay money for hotels that I would hardly spend any time? Also, Air BNB got a bit pricey and all required prepayments!

I did so much research on hostels and read hundreds of reviews (thank you Trip Advisor, Booking.com & Reddit).

I went to college so the idea of sharing a room with a stranger didn’t scare me at all.

I stayed at the Corujinha Hostel in Portugal and I give them ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ five stars. It was extremely clean, had an awesome common room full of musical instruments and TVs! Very homely compared to so of the other hostels I encountered (I’ll do a separate blog post rating the others so stay tuned).

I’ll see you next time!

I will most likely give myself five years to learn Portuguese and go back five years after that but I WILL go back not let this experience be the only memories I make in Lisbon.

For more on my impulsive solo adventures, and to see what other countries I actually ended up in after this second FAIL, continue on in this series!

I PROMISE IT ISN’T ALL BAD PLANNING & FAILS! IT ONLY GETS BETTER FROM HERE!!!!!!!!

Click here to visit Part III of “Four countries in one week: How I survived my impulsive solo adventures”

Black Utopia

You’re going to the black utopia? Can I go too?

Where the sky isn’t a typical blue

but a reddish, orangy, golden-sparkly hue.

Everyone there is just like you.

Selfless, patient, loving, intelligent, enlightening too.

Honey pours from the trees and blessings, not death, comes in threes.

You and I are the same, of course, you’d believe,

there aren’t any status symbols symbolizing or separating us because of what we believe.

There’s only one religion and that’s the belief of a longing love.

Everyone would raise their heads and never bow them again to talk to the “one above.”

We’d float down to heaven, then up to our super earth again, and then, wherever our wings would have us travelin…

Maybe we’d stop pass the old mars or visit the first stars and see everything we generalized into being just “space.”

We’ll spin and twirl and twirl and spin, until finally we pick up the pace.

We’d name everything we touch bc it would be ours to do just so, there be enough to go around no need for fighting never anyone going toe to toe.

I heard of this place called the “black uptopia” I heard it’s a place you’ve been to…

I only have one question for you.

If this place the “black utopia” exists, can I go with you?

Suppressed Deity & Young Loud Proud’s presents: Sick, Lit & LOUD

“We have been on a journey from the age of 7, creating our own stories and characters. Being underrepresented as young girls of color, we began designing our own worlds where we were able to exist freely. Presently, we are still creating platforms for disenfranchised groups, proclaiming self-acceptance. Our most recent project, Sick & Lit, is an empowering series that pokes holes in the stereotypes surrounding race, sexuality, and socioeconomic status. Please join the movement by sharing & following the link in our bio to donate to our cause.” —Suppressed Deity, LLC.

“Suppressed Deity, LLC” is an organization based in Philly that produces media content for entertainment and educational purposes.

SuppressedDeity is looking to fund their first project: “Sick & Lit” a project based on the struggles of Millennials. (please follow this link to help support their project https://www.gofundme.com/sick-and-lit-series

✨✨Check out the trailer and let me know what you think!!!✨✨

Founders, Gabbi (@november_drums) & Mishea (@diva_sass), are special guests on #YoungLoudProud’s #SpeakUpPodcast (Episode 4 titled “Sick, Lit & Loud” with #MayaDanielle @mystik.y) where they’re discussing the series Sick & Lit as well as Race, Hair, Gender, Sexuality SocialMedia, MentalHealth & so much more 🖤✨

・・・THANK YOU for a very exciting collaboration 🙏🏽💕Catch the episodes 1-4 of @YoungLoudProud’s Podcast Speak Up: An Invincible Girl’s Podcast (clickable link in bio) https://anchor.fm/invinciblegirl

Make sure you’re following @suppressed_deity (on Twitter& IG) so you don’t miss any of their upcoming projects! Stay Tuned!

Please email: proudloudyoung@gmail.com for all inquiries.

“Speak Up: An invincible girl’s Podcast”

On 9.30.18 I’m launching “Speak Up: An invincible girl’s Podcast” An extension of my blog site “Young Loud Proud (YLP)” —a resource tool for inspiration & motivation in the hopes of spreading POSITIVITY while dismembering stereotypes. “Speak Up” will be used as an outlet to continue to shine light on #BlackGirlMagic across the globe, a place to discuss social issues, and also solutions/thoughts on how to make a change. Please visit http://www.youngloudproud.com for more information and make sure you’re following YLP’s Instagram @youngloudproud if you would like to contribute feel free to DM me and/or Email: proudloudyoung@gmail.com🖤✨

Li·bran Hollow-Cost

People tell me I got a light about me but I dwell too much on things

Wasting time wasting time on remembering memories of wasted things

I look up and stare at the moon at night, the sight of her comforts me

We have an understanding that no matter what, at the end of the night Ill count out loud my blessings

Look at me, your Libran Holocaust born in Philly, A1 cheesesteak sauce

My eyes opened, wide, wider than they’d ever been, staring right past you, past the lies, straight down to heaven

Then I look up to the moon, and she’s still there with me, shining and smiling down, what a sight to see!

There I am, I think as I see myself, just a fragment of black girl magic, made from the image of God

Heavenly woman, made so heavenly, when life gets to be getting the best of me, I’ll close my eyes and remember you’re with me

You are me, we’re one, my desire, burning bright like a fire, with my eyes wide open, I gravitate higher, and drop down to heaven, heavenly spun

You’re the one, you won me, mostly heavenly one.

Inspired by Teena Marie/ irons in the fire

Sidewalk Sale

I’m having a sidewalk sale

Come and check out some cool things

I got a heart I’ve worn on my sleeve along with emotional roller coasters and other tea set things

I’m having a sidewalk sale today

Make sure you come, hurry up and buy!

I’ve got some limited edition rose colored glasses, 3rd base passes, lessons learned from repeated classes, and a couple of skin tight jeans that compliment asses

I need to get rid of all my self-doubting secret sensations, record playing temptations, a bible missing Galatians, a few screws lost, shoes without laces, empty retainers (no need for braces), a dirty ol diary full of places, I’ve dreamed of but never been, closet full of designers to cover up the hated skin I’m in

Come by my house in a bit and check out the sale I’m having on my sidewalk, bring your money and bring your chalk, so you can sign your name and then you can walk, away with precious things from my sidewalk display

How NOT to fangirl (when you really want to) Part II. #YLPtalk

Fan·girl: (of a female fan) behaving in an obsessive or overexcited way.

Gather around Young Loud Proud, this is Part II of How NOT to fangirl (when you really want to). #YLPtalk

This past year I’ve been in a few unbelievable situations where I could’ve fangirl-ed the hell out of a couple of my favorite celebrities and could’ve made some memorable events, but I chose to stay quiet and keep to myself with the overall goal of not acting like a complete fan (even though my insides were exploding). It’s a self-control thing, I’ll tell you all about it, here goes nothing!

How to act like you don’t care that: Mary J Blige, Judy Jamison, Lena Waithe, Naomi Campbell, Naturi Naughton, Fantasia, Beverly Johnson, Queen Latifah, Ciara, Janet Jackson & Phylicia Rashad are all sitting within arms reach when all you want to do is run up to them, give out hugs, pull out your camera, and snap selfies:

I attended the filming of the was the Black Girls Rock 2018 awards show and the only question on my mind was: Do I carpe diem or nah?

BET just aired the 2018 awards show “Black Girls Rock” (on 9/9/18) an annual celebration of Black women while recognizing some of the most prominent pioneers in culture.

I had a brief close-up camera appearance so the excitement of seeing myself on TV a few weeks after the filming, basically prompted this “Part II” (of a new ongoing series on Young Loud Proud about keeping your cool and resisting the urge to fangirl celebrities).

A few weeks ago, my best friend sent me a link to attend a taping of this awards show and since I’ve always dreamed of going, this “win a chance to attend” link was right on the money (just not my money—that was a joke). I figured “sure” anything free is for me; it didn’t matter that it was almost 3 hours away in New Jersey.

So I signed right on up and the following week I was sent a surprise text asking me to confirm my attendance to the “2017 Soul Train Awards.” I rolled my eyes so hard at the confirmation, I was already reluctant to travel for this event, and part of me felt like this was the confirmation of some scam, after all, the title, year, and overall details of the show were so off.

Any who, it was all good because once I arrived, I saw a bunch of elegantly dressed people and signs indicating that I was indeed at the right show. It was a huge relief to see event staff eagerly smiling with their “Black Girls Rock event staff” tee shirts on.

So, then I exhaled. I was signed up for the correct show, traveled to the right location, made it on time, I was super cute in my semi-formal outfit, the last thing to ease my mind was the understanding of my role…while I thought I won exclusive seats what I really signed up for was an opportunity to be a seat filler.

For those of you who don’t really know who or what “seat fillers” are for award shows (if you’re reading this puzzled don’t worry I was too) the name is pretty self-explanatory. I was signing up to fill seats as necessary for the duration of the Black Girls Rock ceremony. I was expected to be shifted around, to make room, and fill in seats as necessary for the models, actors, actresses, and VIPs (et al.).

Once I ingested the duties of a seat filler after being prepped by the event staff, my best friend and I was ushered into a waiting area/auditorium where we waited over 2 hours in the hopes of being needed.

In the agreement, it clearly stated that not everyone would be chosen, so I braced myself for rejection. I don’t know why sometimes I count myself out (I need to stop doing that!!! this is a #YLPtalk for another day).

While waiting in an entirely separate and crowded auditorium, away from the actual event, I have to admit; I was anxious, hungry and ready to leave, but, I AM SO GLAD I STAYED!

I was sitting next to some complainers who figured the long wait was because they ran out of room, or they weren’t going to need us, or the “powers that be” didn’t like our outfits but I’m so glad I’ve mastered the art of tuning people out because they were dead wrong.

Not only did we get seated, but the ushers ended up sitting my best friend and I (together) in the second row! Yes, we were up close and personal, just a few feet from the amazing “Black Girls Rock” stage and we didn’t get shuffled or asked to move NOT ONCE!

Capture.JPG

(This was the only picture I was brave enough to snap as we were leaving out!)

Overall, this was the best experience ever; I ended up sitting right behind Naturi Naughton (commonly known as “Tasha” from 50 cent’s show “Power”), and while trying not to fangirl, I began to notice more of THE GREATS and it was completely unbelievable.

I saw the likes of Mary J Blige, Lena Waithe, Naomi Campbell, Fantasia, Beverly Johnson & Phylicia Rashad … it was all so inspirational just to be surrounded by them and to feel their positive energy. In the words of Mary J “Black Girls just Rock, we just do…” I felt the magic all through the room.

My opinion: to fangirl at an elegant awards show entirely uncalled for and is probably the quickest way to get removed. One thing I will confess: I did bring a copy of “An Ode to the “Good Girl” and leave it under Judy Jamison’s chair but whether she got it or security removed it is neither here nor there…that was the extent of me fangirl-ing…

I was so honored to be there, and I respected that this was such a sacred space full of #BlackGirlMagic. I didn’t see a bunch of bodyguards everywhere, you know? Everyone was basically enjoying each other in harmony, and I thought to myself “yeah this is exactly where I should be.”

I declared to myself that next year I’d be up on that stage and not just in the audience and you better believe it! It was like the best motivational rally, therapy session, church service, and most amazing free concert I’ve ever been to all wrapped up into one event.

You have to realize people are in celeb’s faces all day snapping photos, asking for selfies, recording, and it’s entirely annoying for them. At least that’s what I think. Although I had already signed an agreement not to take out my cell phone before going inside, I was so tempted! Especially when my favorite auntie Phylicia Rashad came on the stage!

They showed me twice so I’m just being joe 😭😭 like look ma I’m on TV!

Some of my favorite moments:

Mary J Blige’s acceptance speech (click here on this link to see my cameo LOL)
Fantasia’s tribute to Aretha Franklin
H.E.R’s performance
Lena Waithe’s acceptance speech

Honestly I signed up through the link for the “2017 Soul Train Awards” with my best friend, ended up waiting for almost 3 hours, and then come to find out it was only to be a seat filler. I was so disappointed but I’m glad I held on because it turned out to be one of the best experiences ever.

I never expected to be sitting up front at alllllll…

The Black Girls Rock 2018 awards show was epic; I’m so thankful to have been a part of that celebration on our culture. I was moved by Trana Burke’s (the founder of the #MeToo movement) speech. I was so excited to celebrate, alongside so many pioneers in our culture that I truly admire, ones that I grew up (past generational celebrities) with and am growing up with (current generation). I realize the magic that took place is unique and want to acknowledge that it isn’t often that we (black women) are celebrated or glorified in the media.

We have to mostly fight for our kudos and share the weight of having to overcompensate for ourselves sometimes, so let me just say I don’t know of a better example/way to do that than exclaiming “Black Girl, YOU ROCK!”

Thank you BET for displaying positive images of black women, shouting out those that are otherwise dimmed, or volume turned down by the media, thank you for shouting us out!!!

________________________________________________________________________________________

Don’t let me discourage you Young Loud Proud people, if you fangirl, do it with pride, go hard or not at all…this is only a mere suggestion of how to get re-invited to the events LOL!

I just wanted to share some of my thoughts and experiences with you because you never know sometimes… I’ve been in certain situations with people whom I really admire, and for the sake of not being a complete fool, I suppress the “shock and awe” methodologies I try and live by… but…what do you guys think? Will being bold always work for your benefit? Sometimes you can put yourself out there, not act shy and grab what you want and it totally works but you have to be careful, or you’ll look thirsty.

Have you had a run in with a celeb or hung out with a crush/someone you admire? Do you disagree with this theory? Please let me know!!! Email me! proudloudyoung@gmail.com

If you’re interested in more personal reflections/rants/stories like these check out the book of poems I recently published: “An Ode to the ‘Good Girl’” available in paperback or kindle (e-book)

%d bloggers like this: